Branson’s crimes against cooking
I am yet to write my letter of complaint to Qatar Airlines (no irony on that last word) over sending my bag to Bangkok for 36 hours when I arrived in Delhi at 4 in the morning. The accusatorial tone of questioning of why I had done such a thing by the Delhi office was irritating. However, no money was offered and they wouldn’t write in plain English that such a thing could possibly occur for me to claim some insurance.
And then there is the fact I had been given the wrong time for my flight back and so I relaxed for a couple of hours when I arrived at the airport only to be told I had missed it by an hour. I had £10 worth of Rupees and an a card that didn’t work in Indian ATMs to my name to secure passage.
Still I might not have complained because I cannot find the place details of where to complain on their website, should it exist.
With this in mind I think this letter of complaint to Richard Branson will prove an inspiration. It is the funniest thing I have read in the media in a long time and that includes the Darwin Awards. Just to make sure you click through, I have a sample of what should be seen as a classic of modern complaint letter prose. (I cannot complain too much about the food on Qatar as I did not eat much owing to a stomach bug – there is an uplifting side, it is not all doom and gloom).
“It appears (the alledged cookie) to be in an evidence bag from the scene of a crime. A CRIME AGAINST BLOODY COOKING. Either that or some sort of back-street underground cookie, purchased off a gun-toting maniac high on his own supply of yeast. You certainly wouldn’t want to be caught carrying one of these through customs. Imagine biting into a piece of brass Richard. That would be softer on the teeth than the specimen above.”
Tags: Branson, complaining, Qatar