Branson’s crimes against cooking
Tuesday, January 27th, 2009I am yet to write my letter of complaint to Qatar Airlines (no irony on that last word) over sending my bag to Bangkok for 36 hours when I arrived in Delhi at 4 in the morning. The accusatorial tone of questioning of why I had done such a thing by the Delhi office was irritating. However, no money was offered and they wouldn’t write in plain English that such a thing could possibly occur for me to claim some insurance.
And then there is the fact I had been given the wrong time for my flight back and so I relaxed for a couple of hours when I arrived at the airport only to be told I had missed it by an hour. I had £10 worth of Rupees and an a card that didn’t work in Indian ATMs to my name to secure passage.
Still I might not have complained because I cannot find the place details of where to complain on their website, should it exist.
With this in mind I think this letter of complaint to Richard Branson will prove an inspiration. It is the funniest thing I have read in the media in a long time and that includes the Darwin Awards. Just to make sure you click through, I have a sample of what should be seen as a classic of modern complaint letter prose. (I cannot complain too much about the food on Qatar as I did not eat much owing to a stomach bug – there is an uplifting side, it is not all doom and gloom).
“It appears (the alledged cookie) to be in an evidence bag from the scene of a crime. A CRIME AGAINST BLOODY COOKING. Either that or some sort of back-street underground cookie, purchased off a gun-toting maniac high on his own supply of yeast. You certainly wouldn’t want to be caught carrying one of these through customs. Imagine biting into a piece of brass Richard. That would be softer on the teeth than the specimen above.”
